A sock, a foam roller, and gymnastic rings.

What do all of these items have in common? Put into my hands they become implements of self inflicted injury.

The Sock

I had just been to the physical therapist. He had twiddled around with my knee quite a bit, bending it in directions I am pretty certain it isn’t supposed to go even when healthy. My preliminary diagnosis is that I am not a pretzel and I have an ACL tear. He told me I can exercise – no running or weight bearing on the knee, but stretching, yoga, cycling, elliptical and a various assortment of exercises were approved. Medically, I have to wait until I get a second opinion (next Thursday) and see if I need surgery. I suppose I was happy that I could keep exercising, but I am scared and worried about the implications of potential surgery.

I went home with all this weighing on me and got ready to wash the pretzel salt off in a shower. I went to take off my sock like any normal human being – while standing on one leg with my besocked foot in front of me. This is a really good position for flamingoes, yoga practitioners and idiots who want to retwist their already injured knee. I went down to the floor and screamed to an empty house. My cats stopped hissing at each other and Widget (whose territory includes the bedroom) came to check on me. She sniffed around to see if I was imminent food, realized I was only injured, and went back to cat-war 2011.

The Foam Roller

Lately I have been so tired. Part of it is the season changing getting my depression cranked up. For those of you unfamiliar with depression I would like to have an aside. Depression is aptly named. It isn’t sadness it’s this overwhelming feeling of blah, and wanting to sleep, and lack of drive, and fatigue bundled up and sitting on my shoulders. I think those of you who know me would refrain from using any of those as descriptors for me. I have started using my light box and normally I would run a lot but, obviously because of my knee, I can’t now. But, I digress… 

The lack of sleep has been culminating into a need to nap in the middle of the day. Today I went to my car at 11:30 and tilted my chair back. I threw my jacket over me like a blanket and saw that in my back seat there was a foam roller. I carry one around with me because one never knows what kind of stretching emergency one might have while on the road. I mean, I don’t even know if I have a spare tire, but I do have a change of workout clothes a pair of sneakers, a bag full of knitting projects, make-up, and a foam roller in my backseat – my emergencies may differ from yours. Foam rollers are a hard compressed foam invented to counteract the obsolescence of Medieval torture devices, and to release tightness from muscles.

My muddled, sleep-deprived brain somehow thought that putting something hard under my head would make my nap more comfortable. I reached for it and got a half grip on the roller. I pulled it towards me and, not remembering my own Hulk-like strength, I yanked the roller and slammed it right into my open eye. Yep. I gave myself a black eye. With foam.

Gymnastic Rings

The carnap didn’t actually take, probably because of the uncomfortable swelling in my eye. I went back to work and then went home early to beat traffic, work from home, and try to catch a workout. I got to the gym at 5 and had a really good workout. This was the first weekday, maybe since I started my job, that I was able to work out with Andrew. It motivates me when he is there. I don’t get to do the same workout as he does because of my knee but my workout was tied to his as an AMRAP (as many rounds as possible) of my workout timed to however long Andrew took to do his workout.

After we both cooled down we decided to work on some other stuff, like Andrew’s form in overhead squats, my ability to retwist my knee jumping up to the gymnastic rings for ring dips, my lung capacity for screaming bloody murder while curled up on the gym floor, my ability to scare the 6PM class that was going through their warmups. 

Well, at least I have time to blog while sitting here with ice on my knee.