Just Harried

When I got divorced I swore I would never marry again. People told me to never say never; little did I know People would be right…

Well, I mean, I am not married. I am however an ordained minister. Yes, that is right, I can add another set of letters to my already inordinately long moniker – Rev. Hadas Cassorla, JD, MBA. 

Why would anyone do this? Well, you see, it all started at breakfast.

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My sister and her fiance and their rent-a-daughter (read: exchange student) came to visit me in Portland. We went to Gravy (YUM!) for brunch and I had to break the news that, due to my incredible college-loan debts, I was unable to afford the flight to Tallahassee, Florida for her April wedding. Everyone made a mad dash for their smartphone to see who could Kayak the cheapest route from somewhere in the Pacific Northwest to somewhere near the panhandle of Florida. It was like High Noon minus the tumbleweed. It turned out that if I drove to SeaTac at 4am I could fly into Tampa and drive a rental car five hours to catch the wedding for a mere $380.00 (both out of my price range and comfort level – but I appreciated the showdown).

As we were discussing things having to do with the wedding it seemed like a colossal burden of planning and prepping and time wasting. So, I off-handedly mentioned that a friend of mine was a minister – then I started thinking about it and realized that I had several friends who were ministers. As I was doing this, my sister’s fiance, having been thwarted during High Kayak (or is it Kayak Noon) pulled out his smartphone, determined that they could get a marriage license in Oregon without being residents and waive the 3-day waiting period. I put some calls in to some ministerial types and navigated the two of them to the county building – I have seen this building a zillion times and not known what it was, good thing they each had a smartphone (I don’t have a smartphone, I have a “doesn’t-apply-itself”phone).

My ministerial friends were taking their time answering my messages – I mean a whole ten minutes had gone by. So I called Andrew and asked him to do some research on what it would take to become officially-enough ordained in order to marry my sister – some people have a smartphone, I have a smartAndrew™. Turns out to be ordained to marry people in Oregon is immediate and best of all, adding Rev. to my name would not add to my college debt load: http://www.theamm.org/become-a-minister

My minister friend called me back eventually (approximately 10 more minutes – the gall) and spoke to my sister who determined that she wanted me to marry her (read: free).

So I did. I married. My sister.

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Those People who said never say never – well, first off maybe take your own advice – but, yeah, I liked marrying this time. I could do it again even – for a small fee.

Also, being a minister has the added benefit of Andrew telling me to go bless myself whenever I sneeze.