Drear Abby

An acquaintance of mine asked me for advice about going to law school.

It turns out, I am an asshole. The conversation went mostly like this:

Why the hell would you want to go to law school?

Well, I am not really sure. It seems like it would be interesting.

What is your undergraduate degree in?

I haven’t finished it but it’s in history, and some other things that when I say the words you don’t hear me.

You haven’t finished your degree? How old are you.

No. I have another year. I am 30.

How are you paying for school?

My parents said they’d help me as long as I go to school.

So you are 30 years old and still relying on your parents to help you live? 

Yeah, but about law school…

30. And your parents still pay for your bills?

Well, we have an arrangement…

I see. So the reason you want to go to law school is so that you don’t have to make any choices about your life or what you want to do with it until you are 34. Do you realize you are not a man until you pay your own bills? That means you are willing to put off being a real man for another four years? Do you think your parents are made of money? Why would you be 30 years old and still acting like a teenager? You should not go to law school. You should finish your degree get a job pay some bills and then determine what you want to do instead of shrugging your shoulders and saying, ‘meh, law school sounds fun.’ Check Mate [I also beat him at chess while we had this discussion].

It turns out I will give my opinion when asked – even if the opinion is only tangentially related to the request.

I am available for parties.

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