Strike These Balls

Baseball is called America’s “Favorite Pastime” not “Favorite Sport.” I believe that is because if you want to feel like you have done not much for a very long time you should watch a baseball game. And, if you want to watch sports that is what football and basketball are for.

I told Andrew that baseball is boring.

No it isn’t. It is really fun and involves lots of statistics and strategy.

Did you just invoke statistics to convince me a “sport” is fun?


I win.

That is when he threatened to take me to see the Mariners play and he would buy us hot dogs and talk to me the entire game and explain what was fun about it.

Have you ever scored a game?

I’ve scored at a game, does that count?

The threat soon turned into a promise. One that I was really excited about. Andrew is an introvert. Him talking to me for nine (or more) straight innings would be more conversation than he has made with me in the almost 3 years we have been together. I couldn’t rightly refuse this miracle.

We drove up to Seattle on a lovely summer day. We walked around downtown for a bit and stood and watched some ferries arrive at the port. We then went back to the car to gather what things we needed for the game (I was super tempted to grab some knitting and a book to read). Just as we were locking the car up a guy came up and asked if we wanted his parking garage tickets for the game?

I asked him why because I am super suspicious of people just giving me shit for free and he started being “the nice guy jerk.” Apparently, he had not driven and decided to give his tickets away. And what the fuck? why would I even ask why when someone is just doing something nice? and this is Seattle not Chicago (his words not mine) so why not just take the damn parking tickets?

I have never felt so hostile towards someone doing something nice for me. I almost didn’t take the ticket but my knee was hurting from all the walking. If this was any representation of what fun we would have today, Andrew was in for a world of hurt trying to prove to me baseball was anything but boring.

We got to the stadium and wandered around searching for the perfect hot dog stand (read: found a Thai food stand). The Mariners stadium – Safeco Field – was built recently; but, in the tradition of the older parks it has a lot of exposed iron and is really pretty. It is a retractable roof construction because it is in Seattle. Through the marvels of modern day architecture they managed to find a way to block all sun warmth and create a vortex within the stadium which made me feel like I was watching baseball in the frozen tundra. We had on wind breakers which was a lot like wearing saran wrap on a ski trip. I ended up buying hot chocolate and gloves.

Andrew filled out the weather portion of the scorecard:

Through 8 and a half innings Andrew kept up a stream of baseball information that spanned from personal history and games he saw with his dad to THE HISTORY OF BASEBALL to factoids about field setup and strategy and, yes, statistics. He taught me how to score the actual game. And, all in all, it was a really fun afternoon.

Don’t get me wrong. Baseball is still boring. But, Andrew makes things entertaining.

When we got home his introverted self had to nap for a week. I expect he will find the energy to speak to me again sometime in 2016.

The reason it took me almost a month to blog about this is because I was waiting for my fingers to thaw. Thanks for your patience.