Screwed

So there I was on all fours with my ass in the air looking for a screw.

This was not how I imagined my job interview would end.

Here’s what happened:

During the interview, my eye started itching. So, I took off my glasses and started rubbing it (which was very professional I am sure). Then when I went to put my glasses back on one of the arms stayed on the table. I looked down and there was the arm and the screw that had come out of my glasses.

There is no relaxed and confident way to wear a pair of glasses that only have one arm. The trouble is, I am SO blind that not wearing them was even worse. So I tried to “nonchalantly” put the screw back into the arm hinge using my fingernail as a screwdriver.

All the while I am answering questions about how interesting regulatory compliance is.

About a half turn in I had to take my nail out and readjust. That is when the screw fell on the floor. The interviewer, Amy, raised her eyebrow at me to see what I would do. “We can stop for a second if you want to find it.”

“No, it’s fine.” I looked down hoping to find I was wearing no pants and that this was just a bad dream.

I put the arm back on the table and the one-armed glasses on my face. The glasses are not balanced for one arm wear and I had to constantly adjust them through the interview. Eventually I was just holding the lopside up while talking, forgoing any attempt to appear suave.

At the end of the interview Amy suggested I look for the screw. The carpet resembled a magic eye painting. I was pretty sure I saw the Statue of Liberty, but I never did find the screw.

At least she knows how I work under pressure…

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