Me: How do I look?
Andrew: GAH! Why do you have a beard and mustache?
Me: You don’t like it?
Me: Well I needed something to keep my face warm while riding my motorcycle and scarves are too bulky and get in the way of the helmet and really I am cold just in the parts that the beard would cover.
Andrew: That’s pretty cool.
Me: Kiss me!
Andrew: (giggling) No.
During the rest of this time you should know Andrew is giggling. Also, I should note I am laying on top of him with my face right in front of his attempting to beard rape him.
Me: Are you afraid of the beard?
Me: Are you afraid if you kiss me and enjoy it that it means you’re gay?
Me: Then kiss me.
Me: You know, if you don’t kiss me it means you are homophobic?
Andrew: How is that?
Me: Well you find me attractive and now with my beard you are afraid of enjoying the kissing which means you are afraid of your own sexuality.
Andrew: Your logic is intimidating when you look like a Rabbi.
(I may have made that last line up).