Me: How do I look?

Andrew: GAH! Why do you have a beard and mustache?

Me: You don’t like it?

Andrew: Why?

Me: Well I needed something to keep my face warm while riding my motorcycle and scarves are too bulky and get in the way of the helmet and really I am cold just in the parts that the beard would cover.

Andrew: That’s pretty cool.

Me: Kiss me!

Andrew: NO!

Me: Yes.

Andrew: (giggling) No.

During the rest of this time you should know Andrew is giggling. Also, I should note I am laying on top of him with my face right in front of his attempting to beard rape him.

Me: Are you afraid of the beard?

Andrew: Yes.

Me: Are you afraid if you kiss me and enjoy it that it means you’re gay?

Andrew: No.

Me: Then kiss me.

Andrew: blugh.

Me: You know, if you don’t kiss me it means you are homophobic?

Andrew: How is that?

Me: Well you find me attractive and now with my beard you are afraid of enjoying the kissing which means you are afraid of your own sexuality.

Andrew: Your logic is intimidating when you look like a Rabbi.

As the Talmud says…

(I may have made that last line up).

Kiss me!

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