This is Radiculous!

What a pain in the neck.

I mean, I have a pain in my neck, and shoulder, and upper middle back.

Self-diagnosis and several visits to Dr. Google had me at Thoracic Outlet Syndrome (TOS). Facebook polling helped me learn that TOS was basically an issue where dinosaurs over-shop at discount malls.

Eventually, a lack of cure through acupuncture, chiropractor visits and massages, led me to see a physiatrist. Physiatrist is a newer designation for what used to be called an osteopath. It sounds to me, though, like a doctor that will sit down and try to find out how my muscles feel about my mother. Apparently, my muscles – and bones, and nerves – are not happy with my mother.

I have Thoracic Outlet Syndrome – which means, because I self-diagnosed properly, that I am probably qualified to be a medical doctor. 

I have Cervical Radiculopathy – cervical meaning “neck area” and not “pelvical” which is what I thought cervical meant. Latin is confusing. This means that there is some sort of nerve impingement or something that is being caused by discs being out of place or something (see, I could totally be a medical doctor).

I have Bursitis – which means an inflammation in my Turkish city. This causes a crunchy feeling whenever I move my shoulder. I feel like I am grinding coffee.

And I have an over-rotated (to the front) right shoulder.

Also, something is wrong with my neck bones in that when you look at me straight on it looks like my neck is a bit off set to the right. 

Oh, and I get really bad headaches all of a sudden now.

Sigh.

I stopped working out (with weights – running doesn’t count as working out) about 2 months ago, and will be starting physical therapy tomorrow. I did some more research and spoke to a friend of mine who is slightly more qualified than me to be a medical doctor* and I will probably get mostly better without surgery, with some cortisone and just by resting.

I can totally rest (right after I get back from Mexico.** Because, I am going to go swim with the fishes (in the not New Jersey way) despite neck issues).***

I am super frustrated by all of this. At least no one has seen me crying at my desk yet.

 

* In that her legal practice deals with a lot of medical issues. She has read enough medical charts and interviewed enough doctor’s – she could tell me how my body feels about my mother just through email. Also, she’s better than a “normal” doctor because she prescribed Tequila and swimming with dolphins.

** I am going on vacation to Mexico soon. I am super excited! It’s all I talk about. In fact, I don’t even care about my neck. This whole post is just so that I could tell everyone I am going to vacation in Mexico.

*** Andrew stop laughing. I totally CAN rest!

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