Sealed With A Kiss

Dear Oregon Employment Office:

Thanks for having me fill out my profile online, I appreciate you embracing some of the 2014ness of today. However, in that it is 2014, can you explain to me why I have to stay in state while job searching? You do know that no one goes into a business and fills out an application anymore, right? Well, I mean, some people do. But, that’s not the job I am looking for. In fact, if that was the method I was using to find new work you could be guaranteed to know that I am not being serious about finding work.

Dear Former Employer:

I am glad we are no longer together, but I am really pissed at you. Your firing me feels a lot like you are spreading nasty rumors about me. Can’t we just act like adults and say we weren’t right for each other? I am not going around bad-mouthing you. In fact, I really love your apparel and will continue to be a consumer. So, stop making this awkward.

Dear Customer Service Phone Agents I Dealt With Yesterday, The Day I Got Fired:

You don’t get paid enough. I am sorry for being an asshole. I appreciate each and every one of you and your patience. While I already apologized to each of you while yelling at you on the phone, I am not sure my tone conveyed my sincerity. So, let me double up on that apology. I am sorry. My shitty attitude was a hard thing to be managed and I hope I didn’t ruin your respective days.

Dear VA Medical Payments Center:

When dealing with former veterans – which is, you know, what you do – you should probably learn the phonetic alphabet instead of asking me not to use it and then asking me if I said “S as in Sam or F as in Frank” when I clearly said Sierra Sierra the first time. However, I do appreciate anyone who says “Crap” on the phone when trying to figure out what’s going on with your computer.

Dear Friends:

I love your support and kind words. There is nothing that got me through yesterday better than hearing from you that I would get back on my feet. I know I am a competent, smart, funny, deserving, driven woman because you love me.

I love you too.

Sincerely,

H

 

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